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Milly Describes

This blog is meant to show you the world through my eyes. I will post my art and my thoughts about several topics, but also other peoples work and opinions that are representative for the way I interpret the things I observe. I hope you enjoy!

Ok, I’m seriously taking on this challenge. But this will take some preparation. So, I will dedicate two days to this. 

Day one: I will list all the things I usually complain about. The weather (it’s so hot!), the way I feel (I’m so tired…), the drama in my life (why can’t people just get along?) etcetera. With every little thing I list, I will also write down what can be done about it. If nothing can be done, then I must let go of it and accept it as it is. This way, instead of complaining, I can do something about my complaint. Therefore I have no reason to complain anymore. 

Day two: On this day I will actually experience what it is to not complain at all. I expect this will be hard. I also expect to come across complaints I didn’t expect to have, which I will then add to the list. I will keep a log every hour. 

This seems like an interesting experience. Day one will start tomorrow,  and then at 0:00 am on saturday I will be forbidden to complain. I wonder if it wil really make a change. I’ll get back to you on that.

Ok, I’m seriously taking on this challenge. But this will take some preparation. So, I will dedicate two days to this.

Day one: I will list all the things I usually complain about. The weather (it’s so hot!), the way I feel (I’m so tired…), the drama in my life (why can’t people just get along?) etcetera. With every little thing I list, I will also write down what can be done about it. If nothing can be done, then I must let go of it and accept it as it is. This way, instead of complaining, I can do something about my complaint. Therefore I have no reason to complain anymore.

Day two: On this day I will actually experience what it is to not complain at all. I expect this will be hard. I also expect to come across complaints I didn’t expect to have, which I will then add to the list. I will keep a log every hour.

This seems like an interesting experience. Day one will start tomorrow, and then at 0:00 am on saturday I will be forbidden to complain. I wonder if it wil really make a change. I’ll get back to you on that.

Milly in the kitchen: honey and bacon

When I was living with a friend of mine, he taught me that marinading bacon with honey before you bake it makes it taste really great. I am forever thankful for that tip, I still do it frequently.

Just now I made honeybacon, then put it on top of my fried eggs (sunny side up) together with some grated cheese. Boy did I like the taste of that! The bacon is so salty that you don’t need to put any extra salt on your eggs, the sweetness of the honey both balances it out and turns it into a flavour-explosion, and the cheese finishes it off. Lovely!

Honeybacon also tastes great with pasta carbonara, pasta bolognaise, hotchpotch, leek lasagna, really all kinds of dishes. Or you can just have it as a snack, because it’s also delicious on its own.

So. Honeybacon. Write that down. You must try it!

Our society has a “My way or the highway” attitude. Those who don’t fit in are burdened with the task to show society the highway. Which, really, isn’t so bad after all.

I had a discussion about the system being wrong and conspiracy theories and all that crap, after which I gave it some more thought, and it made me wonder a few things. 
Just how bad is this system failing? What was this system meant to do anyway? Yes, people are suffering, but isn’t it up to ourselves to crawl out of the victim role, take responsibility and end our own suffering? 
Only a few weeks ago I felt like the whole world was against me. I felt misunderstood. I felt like I was on my own. I somehow could not do what was expected of me, which resulted in me having to quit school, getting kicked out by my mom, being taken in by a really kind lady, only to get kicked out by her as well because I couldn’t live up to her expectations. So, to put it more clearly, because I was unable to live up to certain expectations, I was unable to make use of the system like everybody else does. 
What if I didn’t have this stupid disorder called ADHD? What if I was able to function like a “normal person”? I would have finished school long ago, and would probably be working at a job I enjoy by now. Would I still have felt like the system failed me? Probably not. 
So, in my current situation, is it the system that is failing me, or am I failing to make use of the system?
Sure, there’s many flaws in this system. I’d love to have a simple job at a store, but due to my age I’m way too expensive, so stores look for younger people to work for them, and I can’t get a job anywhere. I volunteer at a daycare for elderly people with dementia, but the work I’m doing for free now used to be done by others for a monthly salary. They just can’t afford paying for this work anymore. For some reason the money is disappearing, and since you need money in this system if you want to do anything, we’re getting more limits and less possibilities every day. 
I don’t know why the money is disappearing. I don’t know how exactly the system is failing. What I do know, is that the system is still working for some people. And the people that don’t fit in this system don’t have to participate. There are other ways. Living off the grid is one example. Settling with what you have and being grateful for it is another. Or you could figure out a whole new system and find people that want to coöperate with you, create a whole new kind of society and live together that way. There’s lots of things you can do when this system doesn’t work for you.
As for me, well, I don’t think I got any right to complain. Not anymore. When I got kicked out by my mother, the system offered me three days of shelter. Only three days of shelter? No, three whole days of shelter that allowed me to call around and arrange something for myself while not having to worry about where to sleep for the next three days. Which helped me a lot. From there on my friends took over. With the help of my friends I managed to get by on my own, without the support of the system. Well, no, that’s not entirely true. Since I do this homeschool thing, I can get scholar ship. And since I get scholar ship, I can pay my rent and feed my belly every day. So yes, the system does support me. It provides the means I need to survive.
And that’s really all that the system ought to do, isn’t it? Providing the means to survive. Thriving is something we have to do for ourselves.
And some people seem to forget that we are the ones who uphold the system. So if we want to see some changes, we’re the ones who have to make it happen. And the system still offers a lot of ways to do so. 
I think people need to quit wining. As Puppetji said: “Complaining only perpetuates that which you focus on, creating more and more things to complain about. […] If you have nothing good to say, then please, be of service and shut the fuck up!”

I had a discussion about the system being wrong and conspiracy theories and all that crap, after which I gave it some more thought, and it made me wonder a few things. 

Just how bad is this system failing? What was this system meant to do anyway? Yes, people are suffering, but isn’t it up to ourselves to crawl out of the victim role, take responsibility and end our own suffering? 

Only a few weeks ago I felt like the whole world was against me. I felt misunderstood. I felt like I was on my own. I somehow could not do what was expected of me, which resulted in me having to quit school, getting kicked out by my mom, being taken in by a really kind lady, only to get kicked out by her as well because I couldn’t live up to her expectations. So, to put it more clearly, because I was unable to live up to certain expectations, I was unable to make use of the system like everybody else does. 

What if I didn’t have this stupid disorder called ADHD? What if I was able to function like a “normal person”? I would have finished school long ago, and would probably be working at a job I enjoy by now. Would I still have felt like the system failed me? Probably not. 

So, in my current situation, is it the system that is failing me, or am I failing to make use of the system?

Sure, there’s many flaws in this system. I’d love to have a simple job at a store, but due to my age I’m way too expensive, so stores look for younger people to work for them, and I can’t get a job anywhere. I volunteer at a daycare for elderly people with dementia, but the work I’m doing for free now used to be done by others for a monthly salary. They just can’t afford paying for this work anymore. For some reason the money is disappearing, and since you need money in this system if you want to do anything, we’re getting more limits and less possibilities every day. 

I don’t know why the money is disappearing. I don’t know how exactly the system is failing. What I do know, is that the system is still working for some people. And the people that don’t fit in this system don’t have to participate. There are other ways. Living off the grid is one example. Settling with what you have and being grateful for it is another. Or you could figure out a whole new system and find people that want to coöperate with you, create a whole new kind of society and live together that way. There’s lots of things you can do when this system doesn’t work for you.

As for me, well, I don’t think I got any right to complain. Not anymore. When I got kicked out by my mother, the system offered me three days of shelter. Only three days of shelter? No, three whole days of shelter that allowed me to call around and arrange something for myself while not having to worry about where to sleep for the next three days. Which helped me a lot. From there on my friends took over. With the help of my friends I managed to get by on my own, without the support of the system. Well, no, that’s not entirely true. Since I do this homeschool thing, I can get scholar ship. And since I get scholar ship, I can pay my rent and feed my belly every day. So yes, the system does support me. It provides the means I need to survive.

And that’s really all that the system ought to do, isn’t it? Providing the means to survive. Thriving is something we have to do for ourselves.

And some people seem to forget that we are the ones who uphold the system. So if we want to see some changes, we’re the ones who have to make it happen. And the system still offers a lot of ways to do so. 

I think people need to quit wining. As Puppetji said: “Complaining only perpetuates that which you focus on, creating more and more things to complain about. […] If you have nothing good to say, then please, be of service and shut the fuck up!”

You can’t let go unless you grab hold of it first

The past few weeks have been really busy. People around me have gotten themselves into some troublesome situations and I can’t help butting in. And people keep telling me to keep my distance, to mind my limitations and not go overboard, and I keep telling them “Hey, don’t worry, I got this!”

And you know what? I really got this! I’m doing the lightwork and I’m seeing the results! Not neccessarily for the ones I’m helping, but for myself as well! By trying to resolve someone elses issue, I actually ended up resolving one of my own issues. No, two of them actually! Helping this person gave me a different perspective, through which I was able to look at my own problems, and it enabled me to see solutions. And now that I have done what I could, I can let go of the issue, even if it hasn’t been resolved like I think it was supposed to be.

People and their issues cross my path for a reason. And I can try to let it pass me by, supposedly taking care of myself and protecting my precious energy, but then I’d be defying myself. I simply cannot help listening to my heart, and my heart tells me to help my friends. And where I thought I was doing good to others, I was doing good to myself. 

I am now able to let go of the issues because I have held them in my heart first. I held them, healed them, gained experience from them, and now I’m letting go. And after I have taken some time to recharge, I’m ready to take on the next set of issues!

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